We are eating the Pepsi version of pancakes
I can’t. But I’m going to anyway. Shower then hair then shots of vodka… Until I’m comfortable enough to either hear that nonsense or say “shhhhhh!”
I’m supposed to “get some drinks” with Potential Fuck Buddy tonight.
I texted Shoulders yesterday, there was some back and forth, and he texted me today. I’m hoping he asks me on a second date soon. I’m super relieved because the texting means he likes me, but I’m assuming he has a tiny penis because there’s just got to be something wrong with him.
So now I’m kind of not enthused about tonight with PFB, especially because I just ate a week’s worth of food in one afternoon, but I have this theory that having a fuck buddy leads to getting a boyfriend. These two guys both fit the respective roles, so I’m just going to power through. In the name of love.
I also started reading Patti Stanger’s book about being your own matchmaker. She would not approve of fucking one guy while trying to snag another, but I swear it works.
I thought he was 2 years younger than me, but it’s just 1 year and 2 months — so one school year. Which matters because I’m more comfortable with it. Which matters because I like him. But lately that feeling has only lasted for a few days after a date, so we’ll see what happens.
I was self-conscious because I have a gross zit situation on the bridge of my nose, but I did a pretty good job with my makeup. Also I Facebook stalked him and he used to have bad acne, so… grood (great and good). Guys who are hot now but used to have some unattractive flaw are awesome (as long as it hasn’t made them bitter).
I showed up 3 minutes early and he was already there looking much cuter in real life than in his pictures. I think he used old photos for OkC, and he’s the kind of guy who looks like he’ll keep getting better with age. He was wearing a blazer and his shoulders were (hopefully not artificially) to die for. Like a Jew-sized football player. He’s from the west coast so he had that nice-person thing going on, and I was a little bit nervous the whole time because the conversation stayed pretty superficial so I couldn’t tell if he was nice-ing me or actually liking me. But everything was good - a few laughs, a lot of common interests, a hefty appetite for unhealthy foods (and working out)… He’s got one year left of grad school and has a job lined up in which (I’m pretty sure) his salary will be double mine, so there’s that. He has an older sister who mentally manipulated the stupid guy shit out of him. So on paper this definitely makes sense. Personality-wise I could see myself getting more and more into him (as long as he has a dark side to go with all that niceness), and he didn’t do anything at all to offend me (which is rare). And I toooooootally want to see him naked. Kiss of death?
When the check came I did the obligatory wallet reach, and he said “no no, I got it. My rule is I asked, I pay.” ”Okay, thanks. I appreciate it.” ”You’re welcome.”
We walked for 5 minutes to the 1 train, talking about how our generation will do anything to avoid calling someone on the phone. We were headed in opposite directions, so he dropped me off on my side and asked for my number (we’d just been emailing). He said he’d call, or rather text since we just talked about not calling. I figured it was a good sign, so I said I’d be happy either way, and that he should call/hang up so I’d have his number as well. There was an awkward moment where I’m pretty sure he was wondering if he should go for the kiss, but I wasn’t positive. Plus there was a decent-sized space between us and it would have taken some major balls to overcome that… I would’ve liked it, but I almost never kiss on the first date. So I made it easier and smiled, said goodnight, and went downstairs. We saw each other from opposite sides of the platform and waved, and I wondered if I was being annoying or cute.
I kind of regret having him call me, because now I’m agonizing over whether or not to text him to say thanks and that I had a good time. Maybe on Saturday I’ll send him a picture of something we talked about. I’m pretty sure that he liked me but I’ve been wrong in very similar situations (especially younger guys). I don’t enjoy feeling uncertain like this.
Sometimes I fap pre-date. And I’m on a no-porn diet so fapping lately is… interesting yet kind of boring.
Anyway I just fapped to the thought of walking down the aisle (again). And not to the guy I’m about to meet. And it totally worked. Wooooooooooomp.
Oh and potential fuck buddy asked me out for Saturday night. Started off thinking of him but then switched to the wedding thing.
Date tonight with a baby. This is the one that was planned 2 weeks in advance. I’m pretty indifferent, except that it’s supposed to be really hot today so I hope I don’t die from heat stroke (or show up all sweaty).
I miss autumn. I have a feeling this summer will be meh, at least okcupid-wise.
theinexperiencedgirl asked: I think you should try out a WYP date just for kicks. Doesn't even have to a be a Jewish guy, just pick a rando and see how it goes. The worst that could happen is that you get paid and end up with a funny story. Do it in the name of social experimentation!
Maybe I would for curiosity/social experimentation. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with it if everyone is up front and getting what’s agreed to. But I can’t make a profile right now because if they email-blast new members, I have no doubt that the Tumblr stalkers would find me. Then the worst case scenario could entail me ending up decapitated in someone’s closet. But that wouldn’t be very logical, because I wouldn’t be able to keep writing and there’d be no more blog to stalk.
I seriously still want to do the Millionaire’s Club though, if only to have a better shot at meeting Patti Stanger. I just need to find someone with a fancy camera to help me with the mandatory professional photos. I think my brother has one, but getting his help in this seems too weird.
haveyoulustin-forher asked: I found this one guy who's super ambitious and smart. He's cuteish and has nice style, totally someone I would go for. He knows my brother and my brother likes him and thinks he's a good guy. But then it comes out that he's jewish. Just my luck.Why do Jewish people only date other jewish people?? frustrating.
Disclaimer: this kind of struck a nerve, and I’m sure that was not your intent, but I’m having a hard time figuring out what to say and how sensitively to say it (e.g. my first instinct was to just say “the holocaust” but I realize that will accomplish nothing). I am open to feedback and editing this (or removing it) if I completely miss the mark.
So I’m not sure if you want me to commiserate (like, womp - there’s a boy you like who it sounds like won’t date you — although you didn’t really make that clear), if you want me to make a joke (hey, one day you’ll find your Prince Charming and at least he won’t have a giant nose and back hair), or if you want me to actually explain why intra-dating of any race/religion/ethnicity, not just Jewish people, is so prevalent (I’m not a sociologist so I’d have to find a good Wikipedia article).
And I don’t know if I should mention the flip side — i.e. how heated any-race/religion/ethnicity women get when “their” men date not-their-race/religion/ethnicity women — and how it’s not fair to have a double standard. For example if a Blue girl has ever gotten upset at Blue guys for having a so-called “Purple fetish,” and then that Blue girl finds herself with a crush on a Green guy, she can’t logically also get mad at him if he only dates Green girls. Since she essentially only wants Blue guys to date Blue girls, but Green guys to also date Blue girls, she’s hypocritically endorsing and denouncing intra-crayola-color dating. And being selfish. Sure it’s frustrating if you think you’re getting the short end of the stick, but in my limited experience, I’ve observed people being unfairly inconsistent. Furthermore, if you’re a Blue girl would you go up to a Purple or Green girl and ask her what’s up with all of this? Would you think she should answer for it? Seems like some heavy shit. Personally I think all of the permutations are so common, and I’ve experienced all sides of it (intra- and inter-, accepted and not accepted), that I just think… I don’t know what I think. But I’m not particularly frustrated about it, and I’m not a sociologist, so I’m not going to answer the “why” part on the whole. I have some ideas in particular about Jews, but I resent being singled out when it’s not just Jews. (And let’s not open the Judaism-as-a-religion vs. -race vs. -ethnicity vs. -culture can of worms, please. I don’t have the energy.)
Also there’s the fact that not all Jewish people only date other Jewish people, which some people embrace and some people shun. There’s a school of thought about inter-marriage and the Jewish culture washing out completely… which is something I think I rambled about a long time ago.
And I’m not sure if I should point out that “just my luck” and “frustrating” are not the things I’d jump to think that a hetero white girl would feel in this situation. I think anyone who grew up with a different perspective — that of a Jew, or any strongly-identifying-but-tiny minority — would probably think that the non-Jew has it easier here. Jews are only a fraction of a percent of the world, and if maybe half of them won’t date non-Jews, I don’t think the ginormous size of the leftover pool is that bad for the hetero white female to date. I feel like I’d be done with this whole saga by now if I didn’t have so much familial/cultural pressure hanging on such a limiting factor, so be glad your sea of fish is the bigger one (although I’m not complaining — NYC is the mecca, and I do sometimes date non-Jews). And I think your average non-Jewish white female is pretty lucky that she’s probably not missing the majority of the branches of her family tree (I assume). So… I dunno, count your blessings?
EDIT: Also, the “but then it comes out that he’s Jewish” part makes it sound like a disease. -___-
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